Dating and the Single Black Female


I know it may have come as a shock to many of you guys that I’ve been single my whole life. Yes I have been in love twice, but that’s a post soon to come. Watching movies, I never knew how truly hard dating was. The movies make it seem like the men just come, but I guess that’s the point of the movie right? In the real world dating is sooooo difficult! Not only is it difficult to do, but now I have to fight with a generation where women have lessened their value and men feel like you’re supposed to be doing wife duties before they even make you a girlfriend! Being the old soul that I am, and being raised -actually raised where my parent and grandparents actually put in work and attention to make sure I turned out decent, with moral and values and knowing my worth- is probably the single most reason why I am single.


I know what I want in life and I know what i deserve and that is a dangerous combo for a man. My grandfather, brother, and stepfather have instilled in me the way a man should treat a lady. I like to think of myself from the old school. I’ve never been of my generation. I love listening to older music and older movies. When men weren’t afraid to express their feelings and a house party actually meant a party with dancing and not standing around too cool to mingle with the ladies. I’m not sure when it all became “it aint nothing to cut that B*** off “and “f*** n** get money”. Don’t get me wrong though I still turn up to it. But is that really what we want to do for the rest of our lives??

Now I’m not saying the men don’t come, though far and few in-between, I’m just not willing to waste my time on something I don’t believe is going to hold something of substance. I would rather be single than waste time on someone I know is only after one thing. And sure after they get what they want they may stay around, but what are you building on? Why are men so interested in getting the cookie first, and then if the cookie is good they want to see how the person is. That’s a lil backwards to me. I mean if the girl gets pregnant or gives you a disease well how happy are you going to be about either of those situations??

Now I’m not going to sit here and bash the whole generation like my dating life is their problem, I have some faults too, but add that to a generation that’s not willing to commit and well you have a seriously doomed situation. To combat that situation, because let’s be honest no one wants to be single forever, I’ve began to date myself. I take myself out and do things by myself, how are you ever going to know who you are and what you like if you don’t actually spent time with yourself? You have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else. Some naturally love themselves others have to work at it. You have to be patient and perfectly ok with being alone until someone comes along deserving of your time. People may say I’m lame or how sad is she sitting at the bar by herself, but at least I’m not begging for a man’s attention or whoring for attention because I can’t fathom being alone. Maybe if people stopped worrying what others thought we would be a much heathier generation.

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3 thoughts on “Dating and the Single Black Female

  1. […] If I am to believe everything people say I am- and I know I am– why hasn’t anyone taken a chance on me?- Very dangerous line of thinking because that my friends led me to a knock out cursing match […]


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